2021 Alpina B3 review

I can see him taking it in. He was just walking past, but somehow the mere presence of the car triggered a reaction. A double take. Something about this black 3 Series is just different. There is something bolder. Something unique.

From the low front splitter to the rear ducktail, it’s obvious this is no 320i. The wheels, simply enormous and almost turbine-like in design, are tucked in perfectly. The car sits low, purposeful, and like a bespoke tailored suit features elegant but defined pinstripes emblazoned with one word.

I can almost hear him say it. Alpina.

Since 1965, the Bovensiepen family has turned their hands to tuning BMWs into formidable road and race weapons. And, despite the ‘family crest’ representing the modification stalwarts of a camshaft and carburettor, the small German company has been formally recognised as a vehicle manufacturer in its own right since 1983.

Put simply, an Alpina is not a BMW. And while they may seem indistinguishable to most, the Alpina badge very much represents a case of ‘if you know, you know’.

And considering my suburban observer across the road has now taken out his phone for a photo… He knows.

The 2021 Alpina B3 is at its core a modified version of the BMW M340i xDrive. Or more accurately, it’s a bridge between the more executive-centric M340i and hooliganistic M3. Think Arnold Schwarzenegger in a suit.

Pricing feels quite fairly placed, then, being conveniently positioned between the two. List on the B3 comes in at $142,900 (before options and on-road costs), which is about $31K above the M340i ($111,900) and $12K under the M3 Competition ($154,900).

There are lots of variables in there, though, and while the dollar-per-kilowatt quotient sees the B3 coming in highest ($420/kW to the M3 at $413 and M340i at $392), the thing to remember is the Alpina is always about more than what lies beneath the bonnet.

What is it they say, exclusivity has its price?

From an exterior perspective, the B3 uses the ‘Luxury Line’ bumpers and chrome grille surrounds of non-M Bimmers, but adds the deep front splitter, with embossed Alpina lettering, as well as a boot lip extension spoiler for added downforce at speed.

Aerodynamics play a pretty strong part in the attention given to the B3, as there’s even a wind deflector in front of the wind deflector on the sunroof to help reduce buffeting as you swallow up the Autobahn at 200km/h and beyond, with the sun warming your bonce.

Our car adds the stunning 20-inch Alpina Classic vaned wheels ($4091), and silver Deco-set pinstripes, which have been integral to the brand’s visual appeal since the 1980s.

Paired with the BMW-staple of Sapphire Black metallic paint ($1615 and one of 12 choices), the B3 presents a sophisticated yet athletic persona, and is a far more mature-looking vehicle than the fatter and more muscular M3.

And yes, as a purist, you can still select Alpina Blue metallic, and have your deco-stripes in gold.

Inside, the layout and trim are very much BMW, with the excellent cabin of the 3 Series a big part of why it took out the 2021 Drive Car of the Year Best Medium Luxury Car award. There’s great visibility, good room in both rows, decent amenities for rear passengers, even a 480L boot.

Although a full Lavalina leather interior is available ($14,874 option), the B3 still includes a thick-rimmed steering wheel clad in the premium hide, stitched together with signature blue and green thread. Our black Vernesca leather seats have a nice contrast stitching in them too.

For the bovine enthusiasts out there, Lavalina is sourced from special cows reared near the Alps in Southern Germany, Austria and Switzerland. I don’t want to go into how well they are looked after before being turned into comfy seats, but I imagine the environment looks like the Milka chocolate logo, although a bit less purple.

For a bit of extra plushness, our car has the dashboard top trimmed in BMW’s Sensatec faux-leather ($897 option), and adds some slick Alpina logos on the seats as a way of making the car feel a bit more spesh.

There are Alpina floor mats and a neat alloy plaque on the console, too, denoting ours as B3 number 94.

Specific trims aside, everything is comfortable and feels suitably premium, but perhaps more importantly, everything is high tech, and it all works.

The BMW driver technology, from the central touchscreen and digital instrument cluster to the detailed head-up display and driver assistance functions, are well implemented and make using the already impressive 3er as a base a very fortunate position for Alpina.

The cluster graphics are displayed with the brand’s blue and green theme, and for better or worse are then entirely BMW from that point on. Same interface, same menus, same functions.

On the good side, you get the Harman Kardon sound system and the BMW Connected telemetry and connectivity apps and functionality, but on the bad side you don’t get adaptive high-beam headlights unless you ‘subscribe’ to them. I don’t agree with that as a concept, particularly at this pricepoint, regardless of whose roundel is on the bonnet.

This makes everything easy and effortless to use, and offers a full-featured technology and safety platform within a reasonably left-field and bespoke-decision car. But it doesn’t add any layers of ‘specialness’ that may perhaps extend the Alpina’s appeal into a technology space.

It wouldn’t take much. Some font and colour changes here, some graphical updates there, just some little coding features that would represent the car in the preview screens with Alpina stripes. Or perhaps a unique interior lighting combo to again touch on the brand’s blue-green persona?

My point being that the little flourishes that identify the Alpina as ‘not’ a BMW throughout the cabin should, in this day and age, extend to the technology offering too.

Where things get a lot more interesting, however, are in the areas where Alpina has worked its magic over the regular BMW goodies. Things have progressed quite considerably from the carby and camshaft represented on the logo.

As noted earlier, the 3.0-litre twin-turbo S58 runs a more modest power tune than where it lives in the M3 (340kW to 375kW), but the team at Buchloe have turned up the torque output from the M3's 650Nm to 700Nm at a very flexible 2500-4500rpm.

This gives the Alpina B3 a claimed 0-100km/h sprint time of 3.8 seconds (faster than the lighter, rear-wheel-drive M3’s 3.9sec), achievable thanks to the car’s upgraded eight-speed ZF automatic transmission and all-wheel-drive platform.

Thankfully, too, Alpina now offers a set of gorgeous, milled-alloy paddles ($502 option) to shift gears, replacing the awful buttons embedded on the steering wheel.

With these, the B3 becomes far more engaging to pilot - not sharp and ferocious like an M-car, but strong and refined like a high-speed train.

All this shove predicates a hungry appetite for fuel, and we saw a thirst of around 20 litres per 100km around town. Things settled into single figures on the freeway as the car found its cruise efficiency envelope, and it’s worth noting that the car was brand-spanking new when we drove it, but I would suggest you can expect to see higher than the claimed 9.9L/100km combined cycle.

I’m also suggesting fuel economy isn’t the reason people do or don’t buy highly tuned German power sleds.

At urban speeds, there’s manageable response and tractability, but I’d almost say it’s a bit doughy. Sure, there’s an immediate sense of capability boiling away under the bonnet, but without the turbos up to pressure, the car simply feels as though it's drawing breath (and fuel) and just preparing for what’s to come.

As once the car edges above 2500rpm, you start to hear the airways open up, and know that all available oxygen (and fuel) is being drawn to cause the pace to surge ever so slightly.

Unshackle the chains and that torque band becomes a thrust zone where speed limits are dispatched with refined ease. There’s no overly theatrical snarl or bark from the quad pipes, just a muted roar of university physics lectures at work.

You need to be at the top end of the rev range to experience the full capability of the B3. It’s not an explosive rush to get there, more a sustained and unyielding onset of power, but at 4500rpm and beyond, things are really moving and the prowl is a straight-up sprint.

Response is great in this zone, but keeping it there necessitates using those great paddle shifters to control the ZF’s timing - that and you need lots and lots of road.

Change down too far or too early, and you’ll find that short gap at the bottom of the tachometer where the car gathers its thoughts only to begin the ascent again. Balancing all this is part of the challenge. Make no mistake, it’s a hoot!

The big wheels and very slim 30-profile tyres don’t offer much in the way of aired comfort, and the ride difference between Comfort and Comfort-Plus doesn’t really seem to be much at all.

It’s very communicative on the road, mostly in a good way. It feels very surefooted thanks to the all-wheel drive, but still makes you feel connected to everything going on around you. Steering feedback and traction adjustments, all clearly passed up the chain to your hands, give you a sense of engagement, as well as confidence.

There are no tail-out antics at Victorian speed limits, though, as the B3 digs in to get power down off the line, even with some steering angle dialled in. It holds speed exceptionally well through sweeping bends, but you get the sense that the 1860kg mass of the B3 would make it feel out of place being driven like some lightweight hill climb special.

Bigger hits are translated swiftly, and the car moves around to let you know that it isn’t happy with your choice of less-than-perfect runway. Plush isn’t a word I can use to describe the ride, but as someone who has specifically chosen large wheels (on a BMW no less) because of how they look, not how they ride, I’m still going to suggest you pony up for those 20-inch rollers to complete your Alpina’s Autobahn-chewing stance.

I will say, though, at high speed, the Michelins generate a reasonable amount of road noise. The sticky rubber collects and spits away any gravel or debris littering the local tarmac, and familiar coarse-chip roads relate an omnipresent roar into the cabin. All part of the engagement piece, sure… But it makes me long for a smooth and derestricted Autobahn to enjoy this car in its natural habitat.

Perhaps Alpina should offer an exchange program where, once we can travel again, an Australian owner can borrow an equivalent B3 in Germany to really understand what they’ve bought, while simultaneously see what the rest of us are missing.

And I’m not just talking about roadside currywurst for lunch.

So where does this leave the B3?

In terms of value, a car like an Alpina is always a bit of a wildcard. Sure, it costs more than an M340i, but when did you last see someone double-take and snap a photo of one of those parked on the street?

For mine, the personal nature of the B3 puts it more in line with a car like the Maserati Ghibli S GranSport ($175K) or Mercedes-Benz CLS ($165K). Cars that have the muscle where it counts, but also make a bit of a personal statement to you (and to others). Cars that are also not measured by dollars alone.

Staying in BMW town and claiming you could buy two 320is for the price of the B3, or that an M550i gives you more car for the money, feels moot. Neither of those options gives you something pulled off the main production line and stitched together just for you, the way you want it.

But if you know, you also know that the B3 is better suited to the high-speed intercity road network of Europe, where running executive errands at two-dollars and change (putting that sunroof wind deflector to use) is where this machine is most at home.

Prowling about town in an uneconomical cycle, just waiting for a bluestone kerb to reach out and ruin your wheels, seems like no life for a car like this, but in a way it just makes you appreciate open-road opportunities all the more.

The 2021 Alpina B3 continues the 56-year Bovensipen legacy of offering a wolf in a sheep’s designer threads. A complete package, leveraging the best of the G20 3 Series, with enhancements that provide a mature and sophisticated alternative to BMW’s own M3.

Not something for everyone, and in turn not something for just anyone.

It’s perhaps the ultimate answer for the BMW superfan - a secret little slice of automotive culture that stands out even while standing still. And if my car-spotting neighbour is anyone to measure things by, the secret is starting to get out.